The Sexus Mutare Charm
by Comedia
Summary: When Harry and Ron go off to an all boys school Hermione is forced to undergo some extreme changes to follow them. Anything to learn, right? But she finds more trouble than she expected when the Headmaster turns out to be an evil dark wizard. What to do?.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Clearly my writing doesn't come close to comparing with the works of J.K. Rowling or Tamora Pierce whose ideas I borrowed for this little story. All I did was put them together.  
  
The Sexus Mutare Charm Chapter 1: Betrayal and Brilliance  
  
"God dammit! Aargh!" Hermione Granger screamed as she slammed her fist into her bedroom wall, a large hole appeared, along with blood on her knuckles.   
"Stupid bloody bastards!" She kicked another hole in the wall, before the pain registered with her.  
"Ow! Ow ow ow! Oh crap!" She collapsed on her bed clutching her foot and hand. She lay there a moment before a fresh wave of anger washed over her.  
"Those assholes! I can't believe them! How? How? How could they do this to me!"  
Her large ginger cat, Crookshanks, who had been trying to sleep raised his head and glared at Hermione.  
All right, okay, let's try not to smash anything else. What happened?   
It had been a recent shocking disovery of Hermione's that when Crookshanks yowled, it sounded like words to her.  
"Ron and Harry! Those stupid-"  
Calm it down and just tell me what happened.  
Hermione took a deep breath.   
"Ron and Harry have gone to Torquall!"  
Torquall?  
"It's a castle in Northern Scotland. Very isolated and impossible to find. It offers a highly exclusive program for students just finishing school. You learn about very old forms of magic...how to do magic without a wand, just the power of your mind. It's the only place that teaches magic like that. Also physical combat, like sword fighting, kick boxing, wrestling, et cetera. And Harry and Ron have gone there and joined the program!" Hermione screamed as she paced her bedroom, trying to walk off the pain.  
So?  
"So? SO? They only accept boys! No girls are permitted to join! They believe girls can't handle the work load! And Ron and Harry-RON AND HARRY! My supposed best friends-have abandoned me and joined the program! How could they do this? Go off and abandon me? After all that crap about becoming Aurors and working together!"  
Hermione flopped down and stared at her ceiling, trying not to cry.   
Crookshanks sat next to her and look down at her.  
Well, that is pretty low. So, what are you going do about it?  
"What do you mean? What can I do? I'm not talking to them for awhile, that's for sure! And they wrote me letters." She waved her hand at Pig and Hedwig who sat on her windowsill. "They're all excited! No one word about how they are sorry or anything! Listen:" She grabbed Ron's letter and began to read aloud.  
"'Hermione-  
You'll never believe this! Harry and I applied to the wizarding program at Torquall and got in! We're going to spend nine whole months studying! I know it doesn't sound like fun (well, not my kind of fun), but by the end of it we'll be a couple of the toughest, most powerful wizards ever! Write and let me know what you think!  
-Ron'  
"And Harry's isn't much better.  
'Hermione-  
This is just a quick note to let you know what is going on. Ron and I are going into the program at Torquall. I've heard great things about it. I'm not exactly looking forward to all the work but they do have fantastic flying lessons. Write me, since I won't get to see you during the first year of Auror training. Maybe you can come visit for Christmas or something.  
-Harry'  
They don't even care!" Hermione was crying now. "They hate studying and I love it and they know it and they don't care! Well, I'll teach them. Go on!" She yelled to the owls. "I have no return letters, so go back to your oblivious backstabbing owners!"  
They took off and she sat down on her vanity stool. She frowned at her image in the vanity mirror. Hogwarts was over and she and Ron and Harry were supposed to be going to the Auror Academy to begin training for their future. They were the Trio, the annoyingly inseperable threesome of friends. They had fought all kinds of evil, fought teachers, fought each other...and now Harry and Ron had gone off to completely ruin their dymnamic!   
The rational part of Hermione knew that this wasn't a personal jab. That they were just stupid boys that didn't realize they were hurting her. Harry was getting desperate; the pain of Sirius' death two years ago was still strong and Voldemort was growing ever-powerful, his dark presence could be felt everywhere.  
But that wasn't important. They were still supposed to be her friends and they were going off to a place that she could never hope to go. She wanted to be with them. Hermione needed to be prepared as much as anyone. Apart from Ron and Harry, she would have loved to go and learn from the Masters at Torquall. She almost wished she hadn't registered her Animagi self with the Ministry. Then maybe she could slip in as just some little black kitty, unnoticed in her disgu-  
"Wait! I could-! But no they'd-! But if I I could hide-! And change-! Then they wouldn't-!"  
What? What are you babbling about now? Finish a sentence!  
"I can disguise myself as a boy! I know I read something..." Hermione began pulling books off her shelves and flipping through them. "Here! Here it is! The Sexus Mutare Charm. It's a Charm, put in the form of a pendant that changes your appearance to that of the opposite sex. It's perfect!"  
You're going to become a transvestite, all to get the better of Harry and Ron?  
"No, I'm going to do it for all the knowledge I can gain"  
What about Harry and Ron? They know you and they'll recognize you by how you act! You don't know how to act like a boy!  
"Ron and Harry would never expect this from me. They wouldn't think I could ever do something this daring." She grinned. "And as for acting like a boy...I think I know who I can call on for help with that."  
She strode over to the fireplace and reached for the Floo powder. "I think I'm going to go shopping. I suddenly have a great desire for Canary Creams."  
  
A/N.Okay, well...for anyone who read this story before and is going "huh?" this is a REVISION!! I got to a point in the other version of the story and realized I had no idea how to go farther. Don't worry, this one will go much faster than before...at least I'm 99% sure that it will...just...bear with me... Comedia 


	2. Mr Hermione

Disclaimer: The characters and settings are J.K.Rowling's. The idea is Tamora Pierce's. But putting them together is all me. Go me. Yeah, yeah. Woot.  
  
Chapter 2: Mr. Hermione  
  
Fifteen minutes later Hermione Flooed into the Leaky Cauldron. She hurried over to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes where the Hogwarts students were buying up all the Mysterious Multiplying Mice and Skivving Snackboxes they would need for the coming year.   
Lisa and Ethan, Fred and George's assistants were behind the counter ringing up Canary Creams, Ton-Tongue Toffees and Hairy Berry Rolls (Fruit roll-ups that caused four feet of hair to grow from the face of the person who ate them). Hermione waved at them and slipped through the back door.  
"Watch it!" Fred or George yelled as something exploded on their work table.  
Hermione dropped face first on the floor. She waited until the crackling sounds stopped before tentatively standing up.  
"Well! Hello Hermione!" George said, smiling, his face a light shade of gray.  
"What can we do for you?" Fred looked up, his eyebrows smoking.  
"I, er, need your help."  
Simultaneously, they raised their eyebrows, well, George did.  
"With, a, er, a charm."  
They waited.  
"A Sexus Mutare Charm."  
"I'm sorry, Miss Head Girl, Miss Perfect N.E.W.T. Score. I believe I have misunderstood you." Fred said lightly, twisting a finger in his ear.  
Hermione sighed sharply.  
"Look," she snapped, exasperated. "It's quite simple. Harry and Ron are going to an all-boys school for four months of training and I want to go and get the same kind of training, except it's an all-boys school, so I've decided to use a Sexus Mutare Charm to attend the school without anyone's knowledge. Is that so hard to understand?"  
Fred and George stared at her a moment before slowly meeting each other's eyes. Hermione had an eerie sensation they were speaking without words.  
"Fred? George?" She said slowly.  
They turned back to her, smiling.  
"What an excellent joke!" Fred said.  
"We will, of course, help you out." George grinned. "Are you going to tell anyone, ever?"  
"I suppose....I haven't really thought about it."  
"Well." Fred said as he circled her. "We have to get you some clothes but that's not the most important thing. You need to completely forget that you are a girl. Nobody will treat you like one, meaning you may get beat up and you'll be expected to do all the work that the boys do."  
"Hermione, you know," George said, hesitantly. "There are reason's that girls aren't allowed in at Torquall."  
Hermione jumped up, indignantly.  
"George Weasley! If you think I am weaker than Harry Potter or Ron Weasley then I want nothing more to do with you. It's a very biased idea! Girls can do anything boys can!"  
"Well, it's just that there's a lot of er-" at Hermione's glare he cut himself off. "You'll have to share a room with other boys, you know."  
"Well I-!" She began to yell, but Fred interrupted.  
"Okay. Calm yourself. Just as long as you know this is going to be hard work. And we only have two weeks to prepare you for the world of boys." Fred said, dramatically.  
Hermione rolled her eyes.   
"Please. Can we just get started?"  
"Most definitely." George said as Fred locked the door. "Are you ready, Mr. Hermione?"  
  
A/N: Just like I promised...fast! More soon! Comedia 


	3. Reunion

Disclaimer: As much as I'd love to claim them, the idea is Tamora Pierce's and the characters are J. K. Rowling's.  
  
Chapter 3: Reunion  
  
Torquall wasn't so much a castle as a really nice, really large house. It was nothing like Hogwarts, with its stone walls and floors and dark corners and dungeons. This place was full of hard-wood floors and large windows. It seemed to light and clean to be an all-boys school.  
There were no Houses, the students dormed in the East Wing of the mansion. Hermione was on the top floor and she cursed her head off as she hauled her heavy suitcase up the eight flights to her room.  
"Bloody hell," she panted to Crookshanks on the sixth landing. "This is hard."  
Yeah, and this is only the first twenty minutes Crookshanks, who was disguised as a small black cat, yowled back to her.  
Hermione pushed the door to her new room open and looked around. The room was rather simple: new wood floor, white walls, three four-poster beds in new wood with navy blue drapes and bedspreads, two large windows with white curtains billowing softly in the light breeze flowing in. Three new wood doors stood out against the soft cream walls.  
"Sweet," Hermione said, looking around.  
Oh yeah, you're great at undercover. I'm sure the other boys will find this room 'sweet'.  
"Piss off."  
Hermione glanced around, then, to make sure no one had overheard her talking to her cat. The room was quite empty.  
"I guess I'm the first to get here."  
Good, you get to pick the best bed. Crookshanks began leaping from bed to bed, to test the softness.  
Ignoring the cat Hermione flung her stuff on the closest bed.  
"Good enough," she gasped. "I can't drag the damn thing any farther."  
She busied herself opening the doors to reveal two closets and a bathroom; freezing for a moment when she opened the bathroom door and looked directly into a mirror.  
"I just can't get used to this," she said, softly.  
A young man with short, brown hair and brown eyes stared back at her. The angles of his face were much sharper than hers, he had a bigger nose, stronger chin and lower cheekbones. He was also a few inches taller and had...other additions as well. Additions that not only made her blush, but made her very confused as well.  
"Why am I doing this again?" She asked her cat, still staring at the mirror.  
For feminism, for knowledge and to keep tabs on Harry and Ron.  
"I am not keeping tabs on them!" Hermione shrieked.  
Yeah, yeah. Watch the shrieking, sissy boy.  
"Oh you-"  
"Excuse me," a frighteningly voice asked.   
Hermione turned around to greet them and let out a shriek.  
Staring back at her, looking very confused, were Harry and Ron.  
  
A/N: See, just like I promised...FAST! Made faster by ridiculously short chapters (I KNOW, I KNOW)...this is my celebratory chapter because I am now done with one third of my finals! Hazaah!!! ....well...I"M happy! Comedia 


	4. What?

Disclaimer: Last night, I put my glasses in my shirt collar when I went to take out my contacts. Once I removed my contacts I couldn't find my glasses. Do you think I'm smart enough to have invented all of this? Nope, sorry, it all belongs to Tamora Pierce and J.K. Rowling.   
  
Chapter 4: What?  
  
I told you to watch the shrieking Crookshanks meowed wisely from Hermione's bed.  
Harry and Ron were both staring at Hermione.  
"Are you okay, mate?" Ron asked, frowning at her.  
"Y-yeah. Sorry, I, er, you startled me," she squeaked.  
"Ah." Ron nodded, but still gave Hermione a weird look. "I'm Ron Weasley."  
He held out his hand, Hermione stared at it.  
"I'm..." she trailed off, forgetting who she was. "Jonathan! Jonathan Myle."  
She tried to stay calm as she grasped his hand but hers were shaking with shock and nerves.  
"Harry Potter," Harry said, also holding out his hand.  
"Nice to meet you," Hermione said, deperately trying to keep the shaking out of her voice as she took his hand and avoided his gaze.  
Ron glanced around the room and flung his stuff down on the bed next to Hermione's. Harry went to the farthest bed.  
"Er," Ron began. "Who were you talking to before?"  
"What?" Hermione asked, her voice cracking. "Oh, um, my cat."   
She waved a hand at Crookshanks who was calmly walking across her belongings.  
This is going real smooth. Crookshanks hissed softly as he crawled into the suitcase. You're a regular James Bond.  
"Out, you!" Hermione snapped, tossing the cat out of her suitcase.  
"You brought a cat?" Harry asked.  
"Yeah."  
"I hope he gets along with owls. Because we both have them," Ron said, eying Crookshanks doubtfully as he put Pig's cage on top of his dresser.  
"Oh yeah, they'll be fine," Hermione said, her voice straining. She fiddled with the clasp on her suitcase to avoid eye contact.  
"What's his name?" Harry asked, stretching out a hand to Crookshanks.  
"Croo-" Hermione cut herself off, realizing she had not created a pseudonym for Crookshanks.  
"Croo?" Ron asked.  
"Croo," Hermione said firmly. "This is my cat, Croo."  
What kind of bloody name is 'Croo'? An offended Crookshanks demanded as he rubbed his head against Harry's hand.  
Resisting the urge to slam her head against the wall Hermione carefully placed a pile of shirts in her open dresser drawer.  
Harry started pulling things out of his bag.  
"I wish she wasn't so angry," Harry said quietly, looking at the picture he was placing on his dresser.  
"Who's that?" Ron asked.  
"Hermione."  
"What?" She asked impatiently before she could stop herself.  
"What?" Ron was frowning at her again.  
"What?" She asked again, her mouth unable to form any other words.  
"Why did you say 'what'?"  
"Er, I meant 'what did you say?' Not, 'what' what?" She tried.  
"Wait," Harry said, trying to follow the conversation. "What?"  
"What?" Hermione said.  
"Which 'what' was yours?" Harry asked, now smiling.  
"What?" Ron asked.  
"Exactly!" Hermione cried.   
"Okay," Harry said, laughing. "Let's try this again, Ron, this picture is of Hermione."  
"I know," Ron said, slowly, staring at Hermione. "She's a friend of ours from school," Harry added, glancing at Hermione. "So Ron, Jonathan, are we all clear?  
"Yeah," Ron mumbled.  
Hermione continued to fold her clothing.  
Hey, genius, they're talking to you!  
"What?" She asked looking up.  
Ron slammed his head into the wall; Hermione found herself envying him.  
  
A/N: Okay, fair warning: In two days I shall be embarking on a three-day journey to my home state (NY)...so I may not update for a few days because I will not be anywhere near a computer and when I finally AM I will be dead tired from red-eye flights...so bear with me and enjoy this one... Comedia 


	5. Dinner with Jonathan

Disclaimer: I'm a poor, bored college student in America, about as far from J. K. Rowling and Tamora Pierce as you can get.  
  
Hermione followed a few steps behind the other boys as they filled into the dining hall. It was much smaller than the Great Hall at Hogwarts, but then there was only one class here and only about thirty boys in it.  
Hermione sat across from Harry and Ron, who kept shooting her wary glances when they thought her attention was elsewhere. It was quite clear they thought "Jonathan" was insane. After all, "he" kept forgetting important things, like his name.  
Hermione avoided their looks by studying the teachers seated at the Head Table. They were all men, all looked to be between 30 and 50, and they all looked very dark and severe.  
The darkest, severest and oldest man who was seated in the center rose to his feet and cleared his throat.  
"I," he began in a very cold voice, "am Headmaster Ahriman. These next four months will be the hardest months you'll ever experience. Understand now, if you cannot handle difficult, strenuous work then you should leave. Immediately."  
He waited a moment, the boys looked nervously at each other, no one moved.  
"Very well, then. These are your teachers:  
"Professor Seth: Transfiguration  
"Professor Gilbert: Charms  
"Professor Carey: Herbology   
"Professor Sullivan: Physical Defense  
"and Professor Snape: Potions."  
Harry and Ron both gasped aloud when they Saw Snape stand up at one shadowy end of the table and give a sharp little bow; unfortunately so did Hermione.  
"Not him!" She hissed.  
"You know him?" Ron asked, quietly.  
"I, er, I've heard of him. He's horrible isn't he?"  
"Too right." Harry said, watching the stage with narrowed eyes. "I can't believe the bastard is here. I thought we escaped him."  
"Yeah," Hermione agreed.  
Both boys frowned at her a moment before continuing their conversation in whispers.  
Food appeared before them, it wasn't quite the bountiful feast of Hogwarts but it was a close second.  
"They've got excellent house-elves here," Ron commented shoveling shepherds pie into his mouth.  
"It's pure slavery, Ron." Hermione snapped.  
Ron's fork froze halfway to his mouth, he gave her a long look from the corner of his eye.  
"Oh, er, right," he said eventually and shoved his laden fork into his mouth.  
Hermione's cheeks were burning, Harry and Ron were staring hard at her.  
"Hot," she mumbled gesturing at her plate.   
She sipped at her water.  
"You know," Ron said, "our friend Hermione-"  
Hermione choked and spit water across the table into his face. Ron blinked and slowly wiped at his face, keeping his eyes on her as though he expected her to attack him.  
"Sorry, I, er, it went down the wrong, er, pipe," she managed, wiping water off her chin.  
She halfheartedly swiped at the water on the table and tried to keep her voice light.  
"You were saying?"  
"Er, Hermione was against house-elves too. She founded this organization, spew-"  
"S. P. E. W." Hermione snapped before she could stop herself.   
"What?" Ron asked, shocked. "What did you say?"  
"I, er, read about it. In, er, the Daily Prophet! Your friend Hermione, isn't she Hermione Granger, Head Girl, top of her class at Hogwarts, highest N. E. W. T. scores in centuries?" Hermione was warming to her subject and, to her relief, the boys were nodding and smiling. "I read about her in the Daily Prophet. She also founded S. P. E. W. She's a remarkable girl."  
"That she is," Ron heartily agreed.  
"Yeah," Harry said. "She's great. I just love her."  
Hermione's elbow slipped and she slammed a hand into her plate, flipping it into her face.  
  



End file.
